Those deceptive moments!!

Hola,

At some point, its inevitable that life gives you this tiny bit of excitement. A shiver up your spine and a rush of blood to your head.

And just when you think that you're "THE MAN!",life has its own way of saying "Oh you poor pavam curd rice eating Iyer boy!!".

I was in Pittsburgh, during the summer of 2010 and it was the last week of my internship at Carnegie Mellon University. As always I leave everything to the last minute, and buying stuff(clothes,gifts,souvenirs) was pushed and pushed to the last minute.

So on the penultimate day, I convinced myself that I had to buy something for my extended family and cousins which is necessary if you're an Indian because apparently extended family is really important(I still dont know why).

I hopped on a bus and went downtown. Macy's was the the place I knew I could find anything and everything. But I'd never been there before. So in I walked. I usually dont pay heed to signboards and I started roaming around the place.

Now the thing about Macy's is that it has so many things that you're lost for choices. I usually go pick the first one I see but at Macy's you don't really see "one".

For some reason, the store was close to being empty. Barring a few girls on the sales counters, and a few salesmen and a handful of people, the 5 storeyed building was deserted. I'm guessing it was the baseball game that evening.

Either way I had time to kill so on and on I walked listening to dream theater on my ipod, into this sea of clothes, toiletries and ornaments. To be honest, I dont think I was even looking for something to buy.

It was this lazy disinterested walk when I had a tap on my shoulder. Turned around and saw this blond girl no more than perhaps 18 or 19.

Now, when god created man, he made a mistake. He put a brain and he put a c*** with not enough blood to drive both simultaneously.

Blond Girl(BG): Hey do you have some time to spare?

Me:(Are you serious??) Sure, I have plenty. How can I help you?

BG: I need to try out some clothes and I was wondering if you could help me out.

Me:(Is this what I think it is?) YEA(which was maybe no more than a squeak), sure what can I do for you?

Now, at this is the point when life's got you bamboozled. Its moments like these when life catches poor little guys like me who're gettin on with their lives with little ambitions or expectations of the high life. It puts these little silly thoughts in your head which wouldn't have existed a minute ago.

Its almost like seeing a ball that you think you're going to hit for six.

So blond girl goes into this array of tops and comes out with maybe 10/15 tops.

BG: (Hands me her hand bag) : Okay, I need you to hold this while I try these

Me: okay be back soon.

BG: (smiling) be back from where, I'm gonna try them out right here.

Me:(with very little blood going into my brain by now) : You want to try it out here???(Hoping that she doesnt ask me to close my eyes)

BG: Yea(by this time shes reaching for the top that shes wearing to take it off) But arent there trial rooms?

BG: You arent allowed more than 4 pieces at once and I'm lazy so dont wanna go back and forth.

At this point life's looking at you and seeing Borat Sagdiev(from the movie borat) in you. And its probably telling its friend, "What a dumass!!"

BG took her top off and my eyes lit up only to see that she had another semi t shirt type thingy on. Now's the time when you realize that you haven't hit a six.
Life tells its friend "Wait for it its not over!!"


BG:(Trying one after the other, turning around and looking at herself) Does this look good on me?

Me: Yeaaa, pull out all the pink tops, they dont go(For some reason I dont like pink)
You can buy the rest of them(points to the remaining 12 odd tops)

BG:Sure, I'm not Paris Hilton. Help me decide. I need 2 outta these.

Me:pick the blue one and the red one (I'm not even sure if I was pointing to the right ones)

BG: I havent even tried them on.

And she starts trying them on one by one. Me bored by this time and frantically searching for a way out but finding none searching for entertainment as an alternative and since I can't use my ipod I start looking into her handbag.

There was a bunch of umm I dont know what it was, but whole bunch of things mostly cosmetic and clothes and bla.

BG: Its really rude to check a woman's bag out you know!!

Me: I'm sorry I'm not from here. I wont look(note to self whack yourself on the head later)

Finallyyyyyy after 40 odd minutes of holding her bag and watching her try one after the other she picks the blue one and the wierd greenish one.(She could have saved half my time if she had listened to me in the first place)

BG: I'm so glad I found you. Thanks for helping me.

Me:(Thats it???????) Listen I've got some more time to kill so if you wanna try out some pants I wouldn't mind hanging around a bit longer (With my stupid lopsided smile)

BG: Nah that's fine I gotta go. Thanks again(hugs me and walks away)

This is when you realize you've been clean bowled. Life's telling his friend "That was fun maybe we should do that again!!!"


I did know her name but whats the point!! Its like someone's conspired against you
@Arvind Aradhya- I would have loved to post your reaction but for the obscenities :P