The trip of a lifetime

Hola,

There's something to it. Unplanned trips, with a miserly budget without a luxury hotel or a chauffeur driven vehicle to take you places.

Trips that take you places which seems to be thronged by everyone but you still have a story to write about 2 years down the line.

Thats right. This post is about one such unforgettable trip that happened 2 years back. Bunch of guys really bored with work decide to get out on a Friday evening.

We were interns at the Central Scientific Instruments Organization at Chandigarh for the summer of 2009. Not exactly a place where you get satisfying work but we were just done with the sophomore year and knew next to nothing.

A month an a half had passed and we were sick of checking out girls at Sector 17 and Sector 35 in Chandigarh. We needed something for an adrenaline rush.

After a flurry of suggestions, backouts and arguments, Manali was the chosen destination. Now the consensus was reached at 6 in the evening, and in an hour all of us were packed and on the road.

Now, the tiny problem that we had was that neither of us had the slightest clue about how we would be getting to Manali, where we would stay and how much it would cost us.

Nevertheless, after a bit of asking around and deciphering Punjabi answers, we found that there were two buses leaving Chandigarh to Manali one at 8 and 9.

With quite a bit of scampering, Chinmay losing his slippers and ignoring the very wise auto wala's advice of " Ek do khambe ke bina mat jao " (Don't go without booze)
we tantalizingly saw the bus at 8 moving away just as we reached the bus terminus.

That meant that we had an hour to kill before the next bus so butter roti and dal tadka were in order.

And so we were at the platform and the clock struck 9 30 and there were no signs of the bus. About 5 minutes later kasli comes panting in and says that the bus to manali is at another platform.

Pandemonium ensued and we found ourselves running at pace holding bags in one hand and our pants in the other to platform 5. Only then did we realize that the bus just arrived from Manali and would stay parked there for the night.

Meanwhile, a wisecrack from elsewhere just got off the phone and told us that the bus we'd been waiting for just showed up back at platform 7.

About 30 seconds of non-stop full blooded "Punjabi Gaali" (abuse) at Kasli ensued, before we held our bags and pants again only to sprint back to 7.

And presto, it was as empty as we had left it 2 mins back. No bus, no people, not even a mouse running around. The full blooded gaali was now aimed at thin air this time.

So we waited, for another hour, and another and there seemed no signs of the bus arriving. Rumors of the bus being halted at Pathankot were flying around and either way, the bottomline was that we dint have a bus to Manali that night.

Now, the simple thing would have been to turn back. But we were determined to get ourselves into shit that night.

So, after walking around a bit, we found a big burly Haryanvi chap who offered us to take us by trax. We were seven and we managed to get 2 more guys. After a bit of argy bargy about the price we settled it.

The tiny problem about the whole deal was that the big burly Haryanvi, half drunk now, and smoking like a chimney demanded that we pay upfront. Now we weren't entirely certain about this, cuz if the vehicle broke down somewhere along the way. we were downright screwed.

So, while we were thinking this out, another chap shows up with some cartons and tags along. We're happy enough with him coming along since we pay less. None of us really suspected the cartons.

So, the 10 of us arent really too sure about the paying upfront deal and we politely reject the Haryanvi guys offer. By now hes drunk and losing it, and " Bhen ke lo***, Ra*** ke baccho", and an assorted collection of pleasing words shoot out of his mouth. Within no time, 4 other men(also on moderate amounts of alcohol) show up and "strongly suggest" that we take the deal.

When this happens on a deserted Punjabi highway at 1 in the night, you've no choice but to take the deal. So we took his word that he'll send us a vehicle if the current one breaks down. When we leave, the Haryanvi is really happy that things worked out and apologized for the volley of abuse. So much to the extent that, as our jeep was pulling away, we saw his beating his chest and crying "I'm the Bh******, i'm the Ra*** ka baccha", and plop he falls on the ground and passes out.

Either way, the seven of us were happy enough that we were on our way. Little did we know that our driver was a numbskull, and had never driven highways before. Add to that, he hadnt slept the previous night.

Of course, we were oblivious to all this and went on without concern. At about 2 30 AM in the morning, the two other guys who joined us realize that something is amiss, and check with the driver that he knows the way. He nods, but is far from reassuring.
So, we decide to check with the next truck driver who passes us.

Eureka, we were halfway to Dharamshala instead of Manali. We turned around not knowing what new hurdles the night would throw at us.

We had our answer within minutes. The guy who'd showed up with the cartons had enough. "gaand marao bhosadi walon"(you guys can go to hell-translated clean) he says. He opens his carton, takes a quarter of whisky and downs it.Follows it up with another. Takes another quarter, very elegantly mixes coke and starts sipping on it.

He offers it to Chinmay of all people, who's too shocked to react.

So there we were, the seven of us in the middle of the highway in Punjab, not knowing if we were going the right way, with a numbskull of a driver, and a guy in the vehicle guzzling down every last drop of alcohol he had.


Fortunately, for us night passed within a few hours and the sight of daybreak, where a ring of light enveloping a pitch black star studded sky was breathtaking.

At daybreak, we were famished and desperately wanted to take a leak. So, we stopped by at a dhaba. As expected, our whisky guzzler was passed out. We had amongst us Pulkit, who's a real joker. The problem with him is that he keeps an absolute straight face while fooling around with the chap.

So Pulkit walks up to to the passed out guy, shakes him up, flips him around, pulls his hair, whacks him on head, and then turns around and says, "bhai ye oh tapak gaya". (Dude, I think hes dead).

The rest of us, looked at each other dumbstruck. Someone commented "Raat ko Liver raaste pe gir gaya hoga" (His Liver must have fallen off on the way).

We ran back to the jeep, and shook the guy, slapped him around and he woke up with a startle. "Kaun hai Bh******??". We were relieved and had no words to say.

But Pulkit walked up to him with a kiddish face and says" Uncle breakfast karoge??"(Uncle do you want to have breakfast?).

Of course, we realized that Pulkit was fooling around. But what dint expect is the drunkard to open up another case of whisky and downded it in a typical Hindi movie drukard style saying "Ye hai mera breakfast".(This is my breakfast). "yeh deta hai pushti, tushti aur..." (This gives me strength, intelligence and.....) Before he could finish the sentence,




He passed out. AGAIN.

You know it was one of those situations where you're wondering if sanity around you is breaking down.A supposedly dead guy wakes up, shoots a quarter of whisky and goes down again.

Kasli put his hand on his head in an "I give up manner" and said "Chutiya, subah subah pi raha hai". (The asshole's drinking at 6 30 in the morning).

After our eventful break and a tummy full of hot tea, we were on the road again.


Chandu who likes to be called Azad, was now in front beside the driver. If you want to picture Chandu, think of a tough telengana rebel whom you see on TV.(For those of you who dont know Telengana, google it.)

Azad is this tough hardcore, brash chap who's very very headstrong. Azad was next to Mr. Whisky all night, and couldnt sleep due to intoxicating fumes and an earful of drunk gibberish. So, he'd had enough and demanded a change of seat.

Us folk at the back were really comfortable, so we asked the guys in front to switch with azad who'd been in the middle all night.

Azad had no idea what was coming his way. As mentioned before, our driver had been sleepless the night before ours, and hadnt slept a wink since. Quite clearly, the effects began to show. Azad, was clearly pissing his pants when a big army truck scraped the side of our jeep. He looked at the driver, who was driving with his eyes closed.

Mountain cliff's, Army trucks, random wild animals,India's longest and darkest tunnel, we escaped them all and after 12 hours on the ride of a lifetime, we lived to disembark at Manali.

Now, what happened there is another story, for another post.